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Parody of Self-Sacrificial Bush

December 21st, 2008 by dismuke · 2 Comments · Politics

Somebody has put up a Leftists’ fantasy edition of The New York Times dated July 4, 2009.   Some of the parody articles are so well done that they are not even funny – they are all too chillingly realistic.    But one of them, “Court Indicts Bush on High Treason Charge” had me in stitches.   I have no idea whether the person who wrote it intended it or not – but this perfectly captures the soul of George W. Bush, an altruist who will always “turn the other cheek” and, in the process, sell out and betray anything and everything, including himself:

Although the treason indictment came as no surprise to most observers, what was completely unexpected was the party who brought it.

“The case is highly unusual in a number of ways,” said Bugliosi, “not the least of which is that the defendant is actually accusing himself.”

In a press conference held close to midnight yesterday at his Crawford, Texas ranch, former President Bush cited his renewed Christian faith as the catalyst for this unprecedented action. “Last month, I had a conversation with Jesus Christ. A new conversation. And I’ve been very blessed to have been born again, again. This time, for real,” Mr. Bush read in a prepared statement to half a dozen stunned reporters.

“It’s taken a lot of soul searching, or more like deep-soul diving, I think is the term. But now I see that it was wrong to lead our nation to war under false pretenses. Millions have suffered for my sins, and I see now that it is only fitting that I should suffer as well.”

Mr. Bush’s self-accusation seems largely to have been plagiarized from years of accusations made against him in the press. It refers to his “political propaganda campaign to sell the war to the American people,” and describes how he and his team attempted to make the “W.M.D. threat and the Iraqi connection to terrorism appear certain, whereas in fact we knew there wasn’t one at all.”

“The death and economic collapse that resulted has been completely devastating to our nation and, most of all, to me,” read Mr. Bush’s indictment. “I want to make amends, and it is for this reason that I am requesting that I be indicted for high treason. I thank the court for allowing me to right my grave wrongs. Bring it on!”

….Mr. Bush maintained his characteristically jovial manner throughout the proceedings. “I could be executed, but what good would that do anybody? Especially me. I think the nation would rather I spend a good long while considering what happened — not only the tragic end of hundreds of thousands of lives, but the end of American capitalism, that I liked, I sincerely liked,” Mr. Bush said. 

As for the real New York Times –  well, considering the extremely dire situation the entire newspaper industry is in and New York Time’s own financial problems,  the “Old Gray Lady” and venerable home of Walter Duranty, the spiritual father of today’s dominant media,  may not be around for very many more 4th of Julys even if the Leftist fantasy world is shoved down our throats.    But we still have a few more weeks left of Bush and Paulson – perhaps they will give the Times a nice bucket full of bailout money.

2 Comments so far ↓

  • Myrhaf

    Newspapers might be going through what the horse and buggy industry went through 100 years ago. Except that horse and buggy manufacturers couldn’t write 1,500-word pieces full of self-pity and the government didn’t bail out dying industries 100 years ago.

    Great first post to the blog.

  • Galileo Blogs

    I just canceled my subscriptions to all print newspapers, including the New York Times. I take special pleasure in reading only the online version of that paper… for free, and a lot less often than I used to read the paper edition.

    Why? I get timely news online (as opposed to day-old printed news), and it is far cheaper.

    I love the Internet!