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Headlines For 09

January 1st, 2009 by Mike N · 4 Comments · Culture

Well it is New Years Day and I haven’t yet gone out for a newspaper or read one on line. But before I do either I thought I’d do a little wishful thinking. So, here are a few headlines I would like to see in 09 starting today.

>Barak Obama discovers virtue of rational selfishness and promises to champion it.

>Republican Party discovers individual rights and promises to look into this exciting new concept.

>Supreme Court rules carbon dioxide now a life giving gas and no longer a pollutant.

>George Soros files for bankruptcy.

>Rep. Barney Frank, Christopher Dodd, Maxine Waters et al, admit that their “affordable housing” initiatives have made thousands homeless.

>Congress defeats bill to bring back the “fairness doctrine.”

>Michael Moore files for Bankruptcy.

>NASA fires James Hansen for unsatisfactory work performance and insubordination.

>Polls show American public beginning to understand that those who call for “affordable housing, health care, education” etc, are the same ones who made these things unaffordable.

>Michigan Senators Carl Levin and Debbie Stabinow defend automakers’ rights to make the kind of cars the CEOs want to make instead of the kind Congress wants them to make.

>Hiedi Cullen decertified as meteorologist.

>Al Gore’s speech on global warming cancelled due to extreme cold. Or lack of attendance.

These are just a few of my favorite things from a much longer list. But alas, I must now go get a newpaper and get back to the real world. Thank goodness for Objectivism.

4 Comments so far ↓

  • Burgess Laughlin

    > “Thank goodness for Objectivism.”

    Yes, literally–Ayn Rand’s goodness.

    The goodness of others, such as you, may bring those proposed headlines to life, if not this year then within a generation or so.

  • Myrhaf

    Congress might defeat the Fairness Doctrine and Al Gore’s speech might get cancelled due to cold weather. If any of those other things happen, I’ll buy you a steak dinner. I think my money’s safe.

  • Mike N

    I’ll be happy if those two do happen but I too think your money is safe at least for another year.

  • C.T.

    I’d like to see this headline:

    “Angry, Armed Mob Surrounds Congress, Demands Return to Liberty”